Smokey room

As i lay thinking about myself i see this smoke fill my room, my walls turn dark and my eyes can not tell what there is anymore. i ask myself, what is going on, what is happening. my mind becomes aware of something taking over me. someone i have never met before. she looks almost exactly like me, except, her insides are as dark and hollow as the endless night sky. her eyes seem lonely and her voice sounds exhausted. she seems confused. she looks depressed. her clothes are dark and somehow do not fit quite right. her hair is no longer bouncy, but pulled back as if it is getting in the way. her voice exhausted and her eyes lonely. all the while my usual self leaves, there is no turning back. there are no trades. there are no rewinds and no redoes. there are no undo buttons, just regrets. this new me cant think, cant seem to find the courage or the motivation anymore. i yell my tired words with my new words and my new voice. I have no hope for sentences.The words LOST and LOSER escape my new mouth, these new words. i sit, in this black and smokey room. there is myself and no one else as i lay and think of what to do...

Regret, this brings up many memories. Regret, harmful things that should not have been said. Regret, i would take it all back. Regret, haunting every night. Sorrow, surrounding my mind with devilish thoughts. Sorrow, fills my mind and burns them dry. Lost, filled with endless worries. Lost, new life. Lost, new mind. Regret, Sorrow, Lost. Regret, Sorrow, Lost. Sorrow.....Lost....Regret.... Regret... is that what you said? in this life of sorrow you say regret.. Lost is what has happened. memories recharged. lost...sorrow...regret....

Sleepless nights and countless hours to remember all my shakes......My shoulders quiver my mouth goes numb. my sorry eyes can not find any light. is this real.. my heart goes still and i feel at home.. is this real... i cant find my feet and my legs feel heavy. i throw myself to the floor... a glass break my heart feels full as the blood empties and pours...

Liz........................................