...........

"It's Not Over"

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you've done all you can do.

But now it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I'm
Shaking from the pain that's in my head. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life I'd led. But I won't let it die. But I won't let it die.

But it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back.

[x2]
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.
Don't say this wont last forever.
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart.
Don't tell me that we will never be together.
We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It's not over. It's not over, it's never over, unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over, unless you let it break you. It's not over.

1/11/2010

Blog,

i have been down on myself for a few days but i am finding a way to bring it back up. I am going to try and lose weight. i know this may sound crazy and i know that i look "fine" already, but i want to do it for me. and i am going to the beach in the summer and i actually want to look good. haha. so anyways. i have been looking up ways to lose a ton of weight but in a healthy way and every site has said exercise, diet, and sleeping right. which makes a ton of sense. from now on bedtime is 10:00 p.m and wake up time is at 6:00 a.m. i will go to the gym at that time and run/walk for 30 minutes, i will then proceed to work on my abs then lift weights after that. i wan to be skinny. i want to look good and feel good. i have gained 10 pounds! form now on i will be positive. i will love life and chose to change for myself. i am going to do this. but starting tomorrow because i am really tired right now and probably will not wake up at 6:00. also, it will be hard to get enough sleep with my job and my classes. i hope i can do this. please wish me luck.

love,

liz

1/9/2011

Dear blog,

i am alone. and no one cares. i am stuck in this sad excuse of a life and have no way of getting out. i ask god everyday to take me away from myself but for some reason i am still here. what kind of god would let someone like me be so sad for so long. to cry for literally hours before i eventually falls asleep. i plead so hard that sometimes i feel like it will happen. but then i wake up the next day and realize it was all a dream. blog, who can save me but myself? what if i just want this to end, what if that is the only way i think i can be saved. my mind is too dangerous for me. blog, please help me understand why i am like this. because for all i know, my life is just a sick joke to god.

liz.

a littles enough...

When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix any thing
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I'd whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

Green trees were the first sign
The deepest blue, the clearest sky
The silence came with the brightest eyes
And turned water into wine
The children ran to see
The parents stood in disbelief
And those who knew braced for the ride
The earth itself then came alive to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix anything
If you let me (Just a little...)near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough
[x6]

feeling this....

(Get ready for action!)
I got no regret right now (I'm feeling this)
The air is so cold and low (I'm feeling this)
Let me go in her room (I'm feeling this)
{I love all the things you do / {I wanna take off her clothes (IÂ’m feeling this)
Show me the way to bed (I'm feeling this)
Show me the way you move (I'm feeling this)
Fuck it, it's such a blur (I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)

[Chorus:]
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

Where do we go from here
Turn all the lights down now
Smiling from ear to ear (I'm feeling this)
Our breathing has got too loud (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bedroom floor (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bathroom mirror (I'm feeling this)
We're taking this way too slow (I'm feeling this)
Take me away from here (I'm feeling this)

[Chorus x2]

This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met

Look to the past
And remember and smile
And maybe tonight
I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the scene
I think I'm fallin' asleep
But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you

[Chorus x5]
[During Last Choruses In The Background:]
(Are we alone, Do you feel it?
So lost and disillusioned [x4])

tears

i cant stop crying. i hate knowing that tito will leave and it most likely will not work out. being in flagstaff is already hard enough and i dont think i can handle being even farther away. my heart hurts sooo much and i dont think i can take it anymore. bllogg, i dont think i can take this anymore. i dont know what to do.. i am breaking from the inside out and i will soon fall apart completely.

i wish

some days i wish i was someone else. not this boring girl. not this stupid girl who cant push herself to do anything. i don't even want to wake up in the mornings. i don't want to leave my bed... this weekend was different. it just made me wonder even more about myself... im scared. i am going to be so alone next year... i am so scared...elyse is leaving.. jon is gone..tito is leaving..my roommates are leaving.. armando and andrew are gone. josh, jared, and carter left.. i cant do it.. i might as well leave too.... all the cool kids are doing it...

bye,

liz