im not sorry.

i dont regret doing this. i dont regret hurting you. but i do regret letting myself get to involved with you. i dont regret loving you and i dont regret the things we have done. i regret letting myself get too close. i tell myself time and time again that "he is just a boy". my thoughts tell me "he will only hurt you" and "your heart will break". but now i have learned my lesson. never again will i let myself open up to someone. the pain i have gone through is far too severe to ever be healed. i know that this might seem impossible to some, but if you have known me for a while, then it would not seem of much of a surprise. and i tell myself to not reach for you, i struggle painfully to not tell you i want you back. but i know in the end nothing will change. nothing you do will change the pain and suffering that you have put me through. and i know i have put you through the same exact thing. but its okay. im fine knowing that i will never love again. im fine knowing that i most likely will die alone. but i dont seem to care. i dont seem to feel any sorrow in those thoughts.